perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
