You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
