If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
