so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
