Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
