how can u be prego again
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
