make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
