Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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