operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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