he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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