I am puke
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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