i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
