In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
