when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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