thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
