two words: eviction party
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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