Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
