whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
