is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
we should paint friendship bongs
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
