man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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