Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize