you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
