So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
