yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
