I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
