I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
