Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
