True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
