just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
