I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
