Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
