windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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