Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
