I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
