If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
