Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
