Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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