I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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