chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
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