It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
