Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
