She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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