I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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