he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
