Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize