i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
