at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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