I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
