When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
