I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
